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Joke of the Day

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? Some obscure number you probably never heard of."

"Customer: How long must I wait for that turtle soup I ordered? Waiter: Well you know how slow turtles are."

"How do you cut the sea in half? With a seesaw (I'll see myself out)"

"""I may be fat, but you're ugly I can lose weight!"""

"I think it's important to remember that woman aren't sex objects; women are sex people."

"The greatest distance in the Universe is the one between how people think they look in a Hummer limo, and how they actually look."

"[Request] Guys I need a knock knock joke that ends with a pun relating to Autumn Started the joke but just realized I didn't have an ending planned. Don't fail me reddit!"

"town of terrorism joke https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qi_tTBfYQlI&list=UUuWKX9oJE45RXSsvGTDTKKQ"

"President Obama had lunch today with Hillary Clinton. Hillary told the president, ""After phoning my top advisers, I think I'll run for office."" And the president said, ""I know. I listened in."""

"Wanna hear a cheesy conspiracy? Halluminati"