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Joke of the Day

"They say in a group of friends, there's always one person who's probably a psychopathic killer. There's no group now... I couldn't take that chance."

"Hydrogen walks into a bar and yells ""Oh no! I've lost my electron!"" The bartender says, ""Are you sure?"" ""I'm positive!"""

"What do you call a black woman whose had an abortion? A crimefighter"

"Sorry for throwing mice at your wedding."

"What's the difference between Vincent van Gogh and Evander Holyfield? Are you serious? I could give you a mouthful."

"How many Hillary Clinton fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Hillary Clinton fans prefer to stay in the dark."

"When I start to panic about the Trump presidency I remember that we are on a rock floating around a fireball and I panic about that instead."

"What type of milk is swiss cheese made of? Whole milk."

"My dad is stupid. He thinks a fjord is a Norwegian motor car."

"My biggest fear is dying in a car accident that doesn't totally destroy my phone"