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Joke of the Day

"They say in a group of friends, there's always one person who's probably a psychopathic killer. There's no group now... I couldn't take that chance."

"In an emergency, Chuck Norris can be used as a floatation device."

"Have you ever tried to peel apart a grilled cheese sandwich? That's what its like to fuck a 90 year old"

"A man goes to a doctor Man : Doc, I have been hurting in places. Doc : Then don't fucking go to those places."

"Did you know that no Pokemon is born racist, they have to be taught that [whispers to Pikachu] grass types are lazy"

"I'm not saying I've let my house get filthy, but this is the second time I've caught my new Roomba trying to mail itself back to the factory"

"Just been to my first Muslim birthday party. The musical chairs was a bit slow, but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick!"

"What is worse than finding 100 dead babies in a trash bin? Finding 1 dead Baby in 100 trash bins."

"Q: Why was the young bear so spoiled? A: Because his mother ""panda'd"" to his every whim!"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the P is silent."