217986

Joke of the Day

"Hydrogen walks into a bar and yells ""Oh no! I've lost my electron!"" The bartender says, ""Are you sure?"" ""I'm positive!"""

"""I love the Fall, the trees are so pretty"" It's fall?? ""Ya, so what?"" [leaves start attacking everyone] OMG THE LEAVES HAVE TURNED"

"What's Pharma Bro's favorite musical? Rent."

"Don't worry, they'll tell you. How do you know OP put the punchline in the title?"

"How do you call it when a blond girl dyes her hair brunette? Artificial Intelligence."

"Here's my impression of an astronomer discovering that an asteroid is coming to destroy earth: ""This will make me famous but not for long"""

"What did the French philosopher say to the vegetable playing poker? All in, du thyme"

"The inventor of the Red Solo Cup had died. His body was found under the sofa in the living room three days after his death."

"What happens when the president of the United States has to use the bathroom? The state of alert in the White House rises to Defecate 2."

"I'm starting a therapeutic cooking class for Parkinson's Disease patients. It's called ""Shake & Bake""."