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Joke of the Day

"Just got invited to an ""alcohol-free"" wedding. The happy couple will be sad when they realize it's going to be a ""present-free"" wedding too."

"I used to work as a waiter... ...the hours were terrible, but hey, it put food on the table."

"Updates status.. no one comments. Updates status again."

"My wife and I swapped biscuits. I guess you could say we switched rolls."

"Why do ISIS fighters only drink instant coffee? Because they hate the French Press. (This joke used to be more topical)"

"My girlfriend has this weird fetish Where she dresses up like herself, and acts like a total bitch"

"Which weather features do druggies like most? Highs"

"I got a 100 dollar giftcard to Kmart and now I can't decide which Kmart I want to buy."

"So my math teacher asked me to do an initial value problem... ...and I said, ""Y Naught?"""

"How do you stop a bull from charging? Take away his credit card."