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Joke of the Day

"Why do ISIS fighters only drink instant coffee? Because they hate the French Press. (This joke used to be more topical)"

"Why does Bruce Willis always play the bald guy?"

"What part of the hospital does John Cena hate the most? the ICU"

"Trojan should be sponsoring Teen Mom. That show is the best advertisement for why you should always wear condoms."

"Test drove a Jaguar today. Very fast but the ride was pretty bumpy and the saddle kept falling off. I also think he tried to bite me."

"Saudi TV Mistake Saudi Arabia TV reported the Brussels attack 15 minutes earlier than it actually happened. Saudi TV sincerely apologizes for this innocent mistake."

"What was the Scientologist's favorite movie? The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Why, you ask? ... It was a cult classic!"

"Why doesn't Tyrannosaurus Rex fly? They're all dead!"

"Grandma walks into a butcher's shop Grandma: ""Hi, I'd like to buy one baloney."" Butcher: ""Pre-sliced or in one piece?"" Grandma lifts her skirt and says: ""Does this look like a CD player to you?"""

"""Are you seeing anyone?"" Me: lately I've been seeing this squiggly floaty thing on my peripheral vision. Floaty thing: We're just friends."