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Joke of the Day

"Did you guys see the lunar eclipse the other night? I missed it, the earth was in the way."

"What's a mouse's favourite record ? Please cheese me !"

"What's the difference between a Taliban training camp and a Pakistani wedding? I don't know. I just fly the drone."

"Most people need a reason to drink, I need a reason not to drink."

"I don't like drug tests... They're not my cup of pee."

"Did you hear about the italian chef? He pasta way"

"[making out] ME: *grabs a blindfold from the nightstand* GIRLFRIEND: omg really? ME: *blindfolding the dog at the end of the bed* really."

"pooping on a party is still the number one way to poop a party."

"Before Facebook, you had to ""like"" things with your feelings."

"In the Walking Dead how and when does the cop guy find time to clean, iron, and press his uniform during the zombie apocalypse?"