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Joke of the Day

"In the Walking Dead how and when does the cop guy find time to clean, iron, and press his uniform during the zombie apocalypse?"

"Going to How to Train Your Dragon tomorrow... Or marriage guidance counselling as the wife calls it."

"Why do skateboarders make lousy plumbers? Because they only use half pipes."

"Hey girl, are you an F5 key? Cause that ass is refreshing."

"What does the dentist of the year get? A little plaque."

"[At Last Supper] *Jesus raises bread* This is my body *raises wine* & my blood *pulls out 8 of Clubs* & this is your card *Apostles go nuts*"

"Longest verb What's the longest verb in the English language? Smiles. There is a mile between the first and the last letter."

"Before I destroy a wasp's nest I like to capture a single wasp and tell it my entire diabolical plan."

"There's a button on this hotel phone that says, ""Pizza"". I may never leave."

"Why is DJ Khaled's favorite number 11? Cuz it has another 1"