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Joke of the Day

"The shoulder belt retractor suddenly locked up this morning and now everyone in my car pool knows my safe word."

"what do you call a rock group with no bassist, drummer, singer or guitarist? Mount Rushmore"

"Q: What kind of floor do dinosaurs' bathrooms have? A: Rep-tiles."

"Nothing makes me feel less like you really do wish me the best than signing your emails ""Best,""."

"How do you titillate an ocelot? You oscillate its tit-alot"

"Mr. Jones, did you or did you not have an affair with the victim, Diana? ""No!"" Oh really. And what's your first name? ""Indiana"" [jury gasps]"

"The creator of the 'knock knock' joke was awarded a prize today Unfortunately he wasn't in to receive it"

"Why does the NSA hate the winter? They got snowed in."

"Two skeptics walk into a bar.. I'd tell you what happens next but noone knows"

"Many people are shocked when they find out I'm not a good electrician."