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Joke of the Day
"Afraid to die alone... ...become a bus driver!"
Next Joke
"I've been married to my wife for 34 years. We now only have hallway sex... When you pass each other in the hallway and both just say ""Fuck You"""
"Oh, your pet loves you more than anyone else? No shit, if you controlled when I ate I'd be obsessed with you too."
"Do you before read your tweets even sending them?"
"What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player? Bear Jordan."
"Today i thought i saw a new color... but it turned out to just be a pigment of my imagination"
"What's a doctor's favorite bird? An apothecanary"
"I lost my job at the hospital today for sexual assault.... It's not my fault that they put up a sign that said, 'stroke patients downstairs'."
"TOO LATE? KNOCK, KNOCK WHO'S THERE? 9/11. 9/11 WHO? WHAT? I THOUGHT WE NEVER FORGOT"
"How do you get a dozen eggs out of a washing machine in less than a minute? i'm serious... help."