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Joke of the Day

"Why does Darkwing Duck wear a mask? You are a duck, no one could identify you without describing every other duck on earth."

"I love a woman that can shoot a gun, but I fear a woman with good aim."

"I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday... He said it's the most violent book he's ever read."

"Son: Dad do you remember your first blowjob? Dad: Ohhh yeah I do! Son: How did it taste? Dad: Get out"

"I just got my first grey hair. This is the last time I let grandma cook dinner for me."

"Did you hear about the silent performer that got sent to jail? He was sodomimed"

"Government Shutdown: Day Three Jellystone Park still closed. Still no pic-a-nic baskets. Yogi stares at Boo-Boo... Boo-Boo looks tasty."

"Trying to decide who to leave my middle fingers to when I die."

"If the free sample lady at the grocery store isn't handing out something I want I don't even acknowledge her as a human being."

"How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just sit in the dark and cry."