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Joke of the Day

"If you're only18, please don't tweet philosophy and proverb verbiage based on your first love and the difficulty of your inexperienced life."

"I'm trying to be more fit these days, so now I walk inside the store to buy my donuts instead of using the drive-thru."

"What's the difference between acne and a catholic priest The acne waits till your thirteen to cum on your face..."

"What does a Jewish pedophile say? Come buy some candy kids!"

"Adopt 25 cats and you'll never be alone. Also melt cheese on things. Not the cats though. -me as a therapist"

"A 3-foot long chocolate bar is ""fun size"" not a 2-inch one. I'm not afraid to be controversial."

"I bumped into the guy that invented the globe. It's a small world."

"Did you hear about the Afghan Rastafarian? He was stoned."

"I went to a concert and the DJ asked us to put our hands in the air Unfortunately, I had forgotten my bag of Lays at home"

"How do you make a holy water? Put it in a pot and boil the hell out of it."