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Joke of the Day

"What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today? He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, ""Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"""

"There are 2 screaming kids & a guy talking full voice on his cell in this bank. I'll wave at you on the news tonight as they lead me away."

"You might have heard this one. I confided in my gf: ""sometimes I can be pretty full of myself."" Gf replies: ""sometimes I'm pretty full of you too."""

"Why Marxists are not good at object-oriented programming? They don't get the concept of classes!"

"I suck telling jokes.. Because I start laughing even before I reach the punchline. The doctor says I have a premature hehejaculation."

"How did the nervous female organ that was going to Hollywood feel? They were overreacting."

"The new pope sure lives up to his religion. His roamin around all over the place!"

"What do you call a dragqueen in a truck? A Transporter"

"I like my women like I like my bread.... Brown and with nuts"

"The best part of marriage is when your spouse goes on a diet and you don't have to share your snacks."