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Joke of the Day

"There are 2 screaming kids & a guy talking full voice on his cell in this bank. I'll wave at you on the news tonight as they lead me away."

"My friend told me if im upset about something i should sleep on it... I told him to give it a rest."

"What do you call fake spaghetti? An im-pasta!"

"You're not old until a teenager describes you as middle-aged."

"A woman stopped me in the street and asked me to show her how to get to the hospital. So I pushed her under a bus."

"I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching my license plate before I ran down all the people I hate"

"You don't even know how many public pools you can get into for free with a bunch of sunblock on your nose and a whistle."

"What's the difference between a hippie girl and a can of beans? You would still eat the beans after a month in the woods"

"I found a ""Fresh Baked Bread"" scented candle I bought it because I love the smell of fresh bread. But when I lit it, it smelled like toast."

"Kanye and Kim Are having their 2nd baby That's the joke."