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Joke of the Day

"There are 2 screaming kids & a guy talking full voice on his cell in this bank. I'll wave at you on the news tonight as they lead me away."

"I bet i can tell you where you got your shoes. You got'em on your feet."

"I saw a funny post on 9GAG but then I realized I had already Reddit."

"Why did the sea-monster eat 5 ships filled with potatoes? Because no one can eat just one potato ship."

"Ok America now is our chance to catch up on productivity, health care, math & science while the rest of the world is drunk & watching soccer"

"I burned my Hawaiian pizza today... I guess i should have put the oven on aloha setting"

"What noise does a Russian Sheep make? It Blyats."

"What do you call children who are afraid of Santa ? They are Clausaphobic"

"My son was born without eye lids My son was born with out eye lids, so when they circumcised him they used his foreskin as new eye lids. He's alright now, just a little cock-eyed"

"Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ? Your teeth !"