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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my bread.... Brown and with nuts"

"Pal: ""on your date, ask her about herself. Oh! And girls love a guy into animals"" Me: ""how much do you weigh? about as much as baby cow?"""

"Why are cowboy hats curled up on the sides? Cowboys can sit three abreast in the front seat of a pickup truck that way."

"What is the difference between the USA and North Korea? One is of them has a great leader!"

"I think LGBT sounds too much like a sandwich."

"I hate it when I'm having the most delicious meal in the world and someone walks into the kitchen and tells me to get out of their house."

"Why didn't the Terminator upgrade to Windows 10? ""I still love Vista, baby"""

"Best of luck to Steven Gerrard, who's retired from not winning the World Cup to concentrate on not winning the Premier League."

"I'm attracted to fat chicks... ...by the force of gravity"

"At my new job I have 500 people under me. I mow grass at a cemetery."