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Joke of the Day

"*I'm worried about tomorrow* Tomorrow: I'm fine, stop worrying."

"What Do You Call an Epileptic in a Pile of Leaves? Russell"

"Drank too much Red Bull and puked in some bushes, now three of them are breakdancing and one is taking me hang gliding next weekend."

"My jokes aren't bad People I tell them to are just laughtose intolerant"

"I once went to an open air Queen concert. There was a terrible electrical storm during the performance. Thunderbolts and lightning. Very, very frightening."

"The early bird needs to shut the fcuk up."

"My wife suggested I get one of those penis enlargers... ... So, I did. She's 21 and her name is Megan. PS: Even though the joke is in first person, nobody told me to get a penis enlarger."

"A physics teacher accidentally walks into the psychology classroom on her first day... Whoops wrong sub"

"What do you call a guy that can't make a joke? A dead one."

"A dog is ironing shirts and cursing under it's breath: ""What a fool I was! Bring me the slippers, my ass!""."