208075

Joke of the Day

"Drank too much Red Bull and puked in some bushes, now three of them are breakdancing and one is taking me hang gliding next weekend."

"Hard to believe it's 2017 I'm still writing ""this is a nightmare fuck everything omg"" on my checks."

"I like my women like I like my reality shows... ...Naked and Afraid"

"Onions are the Russian nesting dolls of the vegetable world."

"Why do midgets not wear tampons? They might trip on the string."

"A bishop walks straight up to the bar and the barman says You can't do that. Bishops can only move diagonally."

"I have now lived in New York long enough that I can eat a meal while running at full speed."

"What's the difference between a decrepit Greyhound station and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, the other's a busty crustacean."

"America is kind of like testicles If the right nut can't agree with the left nut. We can't produce."

"""Barista"" is Italian for BA in liberal arts."