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Joke of the Day

"What Do You Call an Epileptic in a Pile of Leaves? Russell"

"I met my exgirlfriend while I was attending college... ... I went to the local community college, but she went to the Christian University of North Texas which explains a lot."

"A man walks up to a taxi -How much would it cost to drive me to the center? -5 bucks -What if my wife comes as well? -Still 5 bucks. -Do you see now honey. You ARE worthless."

"What is a dentist's office? A filling station."

"Her: I do. And that marks the last time she ever agreed with me."

"What did Trump say about the Middle East? Iran for president, then Iraq the nation."

"When does a bed grow longer? At night because two feet are added to it."

"Donald Trump never seems to answer questions specifically. I guess the questions seem to trump him."

"Standing next to an attractive woman in the elevator. I turned to her and asked politely if I could smell her pussy. Bristling, she snapped ""NO, you can't!"" Oh, I said, ""It must be your feet then."""

"Sex is a great way to get rid of stress, so go f*ck yourself and calm down"