185079

Joke of the Day

"So my drug dealer got me these new shoes.. And I don't know what he laced them with.. But I've been tripping all day"

"I'm watching a guy on tv who makes a living simply by having opinions about hockey wondering which one of us is the bigger pile of shit."

"First rule of double entendre club is please let us know if you're coming"

"Just went to an emotional wedding Even the cake was in tiers."

"What's Beethoven's favorite fruit? A ba-na-na-naaaaa"

"Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Because all of their runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in the United States."

"When is the one time when no doesn't mean no? When a woman rejects feminism."

"Every time I get an AIDS test, I'm convinced it's going to come back positive And every time I'm right."

"*dad walks up to me stroking his beard* son, where do we keep the dog treats again? Im hun- *beard falls off revealing my dog. he runs away*"

"A good girl bends at the knees... A great girl bends at the hip."