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Joke of the Day

"Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, ""I need your weight not your phone number"""

"What is the frat guy's favorite ion? Bromide"

"What do the chronically late have in common with sex traffickers? They both ""run behind""."

"What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice? polar-oids"

"I just swallowed my record player's needle and nothing's happened to me, nothing's happened to me, nothing's happened to me, nothing's happe"

"My doctor's just told me I am suffering from paranoia Well, he didn't actually say that, but I could tell it was what he was thinking"

"Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Cause she was a woman ^^sorry"

"*struggling to get the peanut butter jar that I just closed open* ""HOLY COW, I'M STRONGER THAN MYSELF"""

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is black."

"Life is like a bed of roses. You just have to watch out for the pricks."