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Joke of the Day

"My doctor's just told me I am suffering from paranoia Well, he didn't actually say that, but I could tell it was what he was thinking"

"What is the difference between joghurt and America? If you leave joghurt alone for 200 years, it will grow a culture!"

"Two blondes walk into a building... Youd figure one of them would have noticed it."

"Why did Pluto miss the solar system party. He didn't planet right"

"What's also red and know if you're naughty or nice? My penis during my girlfriend's period"

"I won't be satisfied until I have enough followers to form sects that fight about how to interpret My tweets until they kill each other."

"What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby sitting next to a kid with down syndrome."

"My girlfriend treats me like a god She ignores me till she wants to ask for something"

"How do you make soup gold? You put in fourteen carrots."

"A nice buttocks. A *great* butt listens."