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Joke of the Day
"What do the chronically late have in common with sex traffickers? They both ""run behind""."
Next Joke
"UHD TVs are going to be obsoleted next year by the new standard: DBZ It has a a vertical resolution that is over 9000."
"Why is Russia the gassiest country? Because their leader is Putin."
"Breaking: It's snowing where some people live and not snowing where other people live. More about this in 10 minutes on Facebook News."
"My doctor said I can get back to my college weight if I simply go for a brisk three hundred mile walk each morning."
"It may be illegal to steal kitchen utensils, but what can I say? I'm a whisk taker"
"Will I ever be a good parent? *shakes baby* Wait a minute, if you're here [cut to Magic 8-Ball in crib]"
"What did the monster say to his psychiatrist? 'I feel abominable.'"
"You let your eyes unfocus. The entire page coalesces into a cheery, bespectacled face. Waldo is the entire crowd scene. We are all Waldo."
"What type of train can a ginger not ride? A soul train"