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Joke of the Day

"*struggling to get the peanut butter jar that I just closed open* ""HOLY COW, I'M STRONGER THAN MYSELF"""

"Did you hear about the barefoot bridegroom? He got cold feet."

"The pessimist says the glass is half empty. The optimist says the glass is half full. The reposter says the glass is half full"

"I went downtown today. I was really surprised to see that the stationary store had moved locations"

"At my soccer game, the referee looked a lot like Edward Snowden... What a whistle blower."

"How do you find a black person? Guilty."

"I haven't seen an Ice Bucket Challenge video in about a week. Did we cure ALS?"

"What do you call a quadriplegic in the ocean? Bob..."

"And satan said ""let all the opinions of strangers on social media have an absurdly large effect on you"" and it was so"

"The Washington Redskins are very sensitive to concerns and have decided to change their name... ...to the DC Darkies."