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Joke of the Day
"What do you get when you mix an owl with a rooster? A cock who stays up all night."
Next Joke
"A mafia nursery rhyme the cat goes meow. the cow goes moo! The dog goes woof, and that fucking stool pigeon Anthony better shut up before I have him take his final fucking bow."
"Boss: Are you drinking liquor at work? *flashes back to pouring apple juice into a whiskey bottle bc I couldn't find a thermos* ""Yes"""
"When it comes to sex, when is a man the smartest? Before, during or after sex? During. Because your plugged into a ""know it all."""
"I'm having problems with my cat, He told me i was a prima-donna, which makes no sense. She became famous in the 80's and I was born in '93. I am most certainly post-Madonna."
"Gimmie a topic and I'll make a joke. Go."
"What do you call an EDM party full of serial killers at the bottom of the ocean? Deep-rave."
"Tonight I'll be teaching a poetry class for prison inmates called ""Prose & Cons""."
"I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over."
"If you feel like procrastinating... ...Just do it tomorrow instead."