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Joke of the Day

"Always get double toppings on take out pizza so you can eat one of the toppings off as an appetizer during your drive home."

"Why didn't the girl cry after learning of her boyfriend's leprosy diagnosis? She didn't have a shoulder to cry on!"

"This is a haiku. This is really a haiku. This is not a haiku. --- --- --- ^^^Edit: ^^^missed ^^^a ^^^word ^^^and ^^^almost ^^^ruined ^^^it."

"The only ones awake 3am are the lonely & the loved. And also the sick who have to take antibiotics & pain killers."

"*passive aggressively cuts your birthday cake asymmetrically*"

"Someone tried to tell me a joke in real life and it went on and on and on for like 3 sentences."

"How did Vladimir Lenin originally get into power? ""This isn't just a campaign, this is a political *revolution!*"""

"What's common between Marriage & a Port-a-potty? There are those who are waiting to get in it and then you have those wanting too get out of it."

"Why couldn't the bicycle stand on its own? It was two tired."

"You wanna hear a Dad joke? Well, I don't have any kids yet so you're gonna have to ask someone else!"