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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the girl cry after learning of her boyfriend's leprosy diagnosis? She didn't have a shoulder to cry on!"

"Girls think I'm ugly, until they find out how much money I make... ...then they think I'm ugly and poor."

"I would tell a broken pencil joke.. But there's no point."

"Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? Because he was a fungi"

"I left my adderall in my Ford Fiesta. Now it's a Ford Focus."

"Hey little kid in your adorable pink jacket: I'm no kidnapper, but if I was, you would be the one."

"The Macarena is pretty menacing if you do it in silence in the queue at the bank."

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a vampire. Necks please!"

"Imagine a shark eating pizza. Imagine you were frog. Imagine a donkey wearing a skirt. Imagine someone telling you to imagine stupid things."

"I renamed my iPod to Titanic... it's syncing now!"