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Joke of the Day

"She: ""Give it to me, I'm soo wet! give it to me!"" Me: She can scream all she wants but the umbrella is mine."

"1. that's not a pregnancy test, and 2. you're pissing on my flash drive"

"I will have enough money for the rest of my life. Of course, if I don't buy and eat anything."

"Nerd joke nicca say wat?"

"Everyone's attacking Rubio, but it's not his fault His aide wrote the same thing on both his palms."

"If South Carolina is the Game Cocks Their offensive line would be the cock blockers"

"A liberal arts student walks into a bar. (Insert pronoun here) can't buy anything."

"What is Donald Trump most afraid of? That people will figure out he is a low energy, stupid, horse-fucking, cum-eating, rim-job giving fuckhead!!!"

"How do you tell a chemist no? Nitrogen Monoxide"

"""HI DO YOU WANT TO DRESS UP NICE SO WE CAN QUEUE OUTSIDE A CLUB & GET INSIDE & QUEUE UP TO BUY A DRINK & THEN QUEUE UP TO GO TO THE TOILET?"""