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Joke of the Day

"Well doctor, my problem is basically this: when it snows, my eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen."

Next Joke
 
"What's long and stylish and full of cats? The Easter Purrade!"
"Obama: any good ideas in how to defeat isis? *Biden raises hand* Obama: besides assembling the Avengers? *Biden lowers hand*"
"you remember me as the guy who put his arm in the doorway to hold open the automatic door for you in 2009. welll, now i need a favor"
"I've finally found something my girlfriend's bum doesn't look big in... ... The distance"
"My husband hasn't forgiven me for answering 'Okie dokie artichokie' instead of utilizing the more socially acceptable phrase, ""I do."""
"Girlfriend: No, you hang up... Me: (click)"
"How do you clean a condom? You put it in a pot and boil the fuck out of it."
"Why is Mike Pence magic? He can turn fruits to vegetables"
"""Dad, why are there no jews on jupiter?"" ""Because its a gas planet son"""