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Joke of the Day

"My grandpa flirting with a 91 year-old lady at his senior home. ""You look young enough to be my daughter."""

"Every time I pinch a loaf; I think,""I don't knead this shit."""

"What's the problem with leptokurtic data sets? They tend to be mean."

"Today, at the train station, my mood ring was stolen... but I'm not sure how I feel about it."

"What does the bride of a Russian man get on her wedding night that's long and hard? A new last name."

"There are no black ninjas.. Only Incognegroes."

"I know that as parent you're supposed to listen to your kids but most of what they say is such horseshit"

"Linda from the office calls it a shawl but I know a shitty cape when I see one."

"date: where did u get that, i don't see that on the menu me: (biting into my corn on the cob) i bring my own corn on the cob"

"Hipsters is what happens when you tell every child they're special."