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Joke of the Day

"Linda from the office calls it a shawl but I know a shitty cape when I see one."

"If a rich man dies from a drug overdose, the headline should read ""Pills bury dough boy"" Credit to my friend Chris"

"Q: Where can you find an ocean without any water? A: On a map!"

"My ex gf came from the land down under, no not Australia, Hell."

"What do you call an orthodox jew that is prone to heartburn? Acidic. [My apologies]"

"What do you call a armless, legless man in water? Bob."

"What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam"

"Remember kids -- it may be illegal to text and drive; but you can still lawfully handwrite someone a heartfelt letter at 50mph."

"Why was 6 afraid of 9? Because 9 was still alive."

"Doctor Doctor I'm a burglar ! Have you taken anything for it ?"