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Joke of the Day

"When I was just a little girl I asked my mother, what will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? Here's what she said to me No"

"A conversation between God and and Angel GOD: They scared enough? ANGEL: Not yet GOD: You got Trump running? ANGEL: Yup GOD: Hurricane? ANGEL: Yup GOD: Ok, send in the clowns."

"Jesus Christ.. ..."

"*Puts on apron* *Places Pop Tarts on plate* *Removes apron*"

"What do paedophiles and tortoises have in common? They both want to get there before the hair"

"Another pirate joke. What is a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet...? ""Arrrrr?"" Nope... you'd think so, but it'd be the ""C."""

"Whenever my car won't start I open the hood so I can have a good look at all the things I don't understand."

"[Founding Fathers] -But how do we get court witnesses 2 tell the truth? -They swear on a bible? -Thats stupid -Hey lunch's here -Done[gavel]"

"the 10,000 hours rule is simpley not true i hav said ""helo bird"" to a bird for over 10,000 hours but i still cam't talk to birds"

"Why don't little girls fart? They don't get assholes until they're married! (My favorite joke to tell to un-piss off a pissed off woman after I've pissed her off with a woman joke)"