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Joke of the Day

"A conversation between God and and Angel GOD: They scared enough? ANGEL: Not yet GOD: You got Trump running? ANGEL: Yup GOD: Hurricane? ANGEL: Yup GOD: Ok, send in the clowns."

"yo mamma so fat she make a whale look bulimic"

"Wearin' aviators tells the world you're a bad mamma jamma who ain't afraid to shin kick a terrorist or smoke a lawn flamingo if need be."

"Chuck Norris uses pens on Scantron sheets."

"What were the lawyer's final words to the man who killed him? I'll sue you in hell!"

"I watched pom. You misread that, didn't you?"

"FREEBIRD! (When you purchase a bird of equal or lesser value.)"

"So I went to a zoo today... But it only had one small dog. It was a shih tzu."

"Somebody once told me in the middle of a huge machine gun battle that I always emphasize the boring parts of anecdotes, which made me sad."

"You can't be anti-abortion AND pro-death penalty AND a unicorn."