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Joke of the Day

"*Involved in high speed chase* *Uses turn signals*"

"This BMI chart is telling me I'm too short. What should I do? Should I eat more?"

"Did you hear about the band Kansas getting arrested for kidnapping at the airport? They tried to carry-on my wayward son."

"Where do one-legged people go to eat? IHOP."

"Who does the Metric Cult worship? ...Demetre."

"The victim's body was found in the kitchen surrounded by eight empty boxes of cornflakes. Police suspect it was the work of a serial killer."

"Where do poor Italians live? In the spaghetto..."

"I have a sixth sense of humor. I laugh at dead people."

"My wife caught me cheating last night and i feel so ashamed and full of regret. She's never going to play monopoly with me again!"

"The next person to make a gay joke is going to get their ass pounded"