152322

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the band Kansas getting arrested for kidnapping at the airport? They tried to carry-on my wayward son."

"A baby seal walks into a club And later dies from complications of severe brain damage."

"I'm a social vegan I avoid meet"

"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-three today and we don't know where the hell she is."

"LOL pills that say don't take with alcohol. Ok Doc, how do YOU suggest I take my medication then?"

"What happens to Nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen"

"Daughter has amputated three dolls in the span of twelve hours. Really hoping our dog is smart enough to stay away from her."

"Grandma found out I'm single so I have roughly an hour to find a gf or Ill be getting the 'have you thought about being a priest' talk again"

"pretty jealous of bears. they're like, ""well, just ate my entire weight in salmon, now I'm gonna sleep for 6 months. smell ya later, hater"""

"*aggressively keeps eye contact with attractive people to let them know I mean business*"