71423

Joke of the Day

"I have a sixth sense of humor. I laugh at dead people."

"My boss said to ""treat customers like you treat your mother"", so I haven't answered my phone in a month and I have 74 unheard voicemails."

"Calm the fuck down, Nutrition Facts labels on bottled water."

"What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim ? An octopuss !"

"As a child my girlfriend loved train sets Most of my adult friends thinks its weird she still plays with them. I think it's perfectly normal for a 6 year old."

"What do you call a nosy pepper? A pepper that gets jalapeno business!"

"You know you teach in a rough neighborhood when... You ask the class what comes after a sentence and they say, ""you make an appeal."""

"I hate jokes that rely on visual imagery. I've had it right up to here with them."

"Justin Bieber's to be the new face of Calvin Klein. Awful news given he does such a terrible job of being the current face of Justin Bieber."

"I think my parents should have named me Winter So that every time I'm having sex with my girlfriend, I could shout 'Brace yourselves! Winter is coming!'"