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Joke of the Day
"3 1/2 Inches is the avg size a woman needs to be happy. MasterCard, Visa, American Express, ect..."
Next Joke
"What do you get if you cross a wireless with a hairdresser ? Radio waves !"
"Me: I like my coffee like I like my ex-wives. My buddy (rolling his eyes): Hot and black? Me: Bitter."
"Headed to a funeral. #yolo"
"I wish I could feed people I don't like to my cat."
"The thing that sucks about hanging out with my friends is that they see how much I stare at my phone and know how little I answer their texts."
"I Always Give 100% [FIXED] 20% on Monday, 20% on Tuesday, 20% on Wednesday..."
"Why JFK doesn't wear hats? It is an airport."
"Why is American beer like having sex in a canoe? it's fucking close to water."
"Highways are a lot like toilets... It only takes a couple big shits to back everything up."