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Joke of the Day

"Life is like a packet of jelly beans Nobody likes the black ones"

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"Before my girlfriend Boyfriend: Did you fart before my girlfriend? Man: I didn't know it was her turn."
"My Wife's MENU had only two items: 1: Eat it or 2: Leave it."
"I went to a Halloween party where everyone was dressed like a sore thumb Not me, no, I stuck out like a vicar."
"Did you hear about that spicy knight? Sir Acha."
"Big Brother: That planet over there is Mars. Little Brother: Then that other one must be Pa's."
"""Oh, a bubble bath! That sounds nice and refresHOLY SHIT Ahhhhhhh!"" - Lobsters"
"LAWYER: ur dad's estate ME: who called it executing a will instead of splittin heirs L: he said if u made a dumb joke u get nothing M: shit"
"What is Kim Kardashian's favorite sex position? On camera. Credit to this week's episode of *The Soup*."
"Him: Want to play Trivial Pursuit? Me: Sure. But I guarantee you'll win. I'm not that smart. Him: Want to play strip Trivial Pursuit?"