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Joke of the Day

"Life is like a packet of jelly beans Nobody likes the black ones"

"What do call a prehistoric hooker? Vaginasaurass"

"I bought some shoes off a drug dealer But I don't know what he laced them with because I've been tripping all day..."

"""I've got chills. They're multiplying."" ""Sir, you're going into shock. Please stop narrating--"" ""And I'm losing control."" ""Sir!"""

"There is 3 types of people in this world... People who are good at maths, and people who aren't."

"I just heard a beautiful poem... ""I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig, we all dig."" I'll admit it's not a very *beautiful* poem, but it sure is deep."

"Who invented the sucker punch? Mike Dyson"

"The Washington Redskins are very sensitive to concerns and have decided to change their name... ...to the DC Darkies."

"Evidently, trying to schedule parent/teacher conference over drinks and ""we'll see what happens"" is considered inappropriate."

"I'm going to sit here and wink at you. It's going to be a very long wink. With both eyes. Please, by all means, go on with your story."