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Joke of the Day

"[god in a bad mood but insisting he's fine] I wanna make some changes to what we made yesterday ""but the spider is done"" Im adding 6 legs"

"Just got a Hyundai Accent and now I sound like a Korean guy."

"Always put your best foot forward. Unless you're wearing Crocs, then neither foot is your best."

"A man and a boy were walking in the woods... A man and a boy were walking in the woods. The little boy says ""I'm scared,"" and the man replies ""How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."""

"Why did Jesus Christ go to the doctor? His resurrection lasted more than four hours."

"Internet Explorer: so about last night Me: Oh, i used you for flash. IE: Are we back together, am i your default? Me: don't make this weird"

"I used to own a shop which sold 'Closed' signs... It didn't do very well. I had them all up in the window, but no-one ever came in."

"*SNAP* *wife screams* *walks over to me* *cups my face with her hands* *looks me in the eye* ""why is there a mousetrap in the fridge?"""

"A blonde walks into a bar She asks the bartender for a double entendre, so he gives it to her."

"I went to Alcoholics Anonymous last week. The first thing they told me to do was to stop hanging around other alcoholics. So I stopped going."