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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a cow who makes regular milk and a cow who makes chocolate milk? A mootation"

"If by 'paleontologist' you mean I can name all 5 shapes in the box of dinosaur chicken nuggets then, yes, I am a paleontologist."

"What goes *clip-clop-clip-clop-BANG-clip-clop-clip-clop*? An Amish drive by shooting."

"What's one thing Lance Armstrong can still make money from? LIESTRONG bracelets."

"Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted."

"this subreddit's online users http://puu.sh/lcMkv.png i'm not sure if i'm accurate but is it possible that the current users are online users - the sub users?"

"What do girlfriends and sperm have in common? They both always seem to end up in your clothes"

"I've got an idea for who should run for President next... Hindsight, 2020."

"Some people are just better left alone. In a jacket, in a room with padded walls."

"Why don't arabs play monopoly with jews? Because jews constantly buy property over the arabs' already bought property"