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Joke of the Day

"this subreddit's online users http://puu.sh/lcMkv.png i'm not sure if i'm accurate but is it possible that the current users are online users - the sub users?"

"Calling them ""boobs"" is so immature. Please use the proper name, ""lovely lady lumps""."

"I get nervous about DM's asking if it's me in video because: 1. I drink. 2. I sometimes dance when drunk. 3. I'm always white when I dance."

"How can you tell if there's a mosquito in your bed? By the ""M"" on his pajamas."

"Oxygen atom was looking for threesome. Poor guy got ozoned"

"Speak English, kiss French, drive German, dress Italian, spend Arab, party Caribbean."

"When are we gonna admit that those tools we keep by the fireplace are just for killing people?"

"Two parallel lines match on tinder But they never meet!"

"Women are just like computers... They are always freezing for no reason and you need to replace them about every 3-5 years."

"Some elements walk into a bar... Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfer, sodium, and phosphorus all walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""OH SNaP!"""