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Joke of the Day

"Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted."

"Deep After stewing in his emotions, emo veg comes to the conclusion that the root of the world's problems is that people don't seem to carrot all."

"My friend said ""What rhymes with orange?"" I said ""No, it doesn't"""

"Back in my day... You could go into a corner store with a dollar and come out with two Cokes, three candy bars, and a magazine. Now, fucking security cameras everywhere."

"Who's the biggest bitch in a whole wide world? OPs mom"

"There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binary Those who don't And those who weren't expecting a base-3 joke."

"If I share my food with you, it's either because I love you a lot, or because it fell on the floor and I don't want it."

"Hard to take women with false eyelashes seriously. It's like watching two tarantulas scream for attention."

"When writing your calculus exam, make sure you don't sit between twins. Because you might not be able to differentiate between them."

"I'm always extra nice to the guy who used to deliver my mail. I'd hate to get into a fist fight with an ex-professional mail boxer."