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Joke of the Day

"ME: why am I always anxious? maybe watching TV will help- NEWS: IF THE HURRICANE DOESN'T KILL YOU, CLOWNS WILL"

"Use ""damn it"" instead of ""dammit,"" but avoid cursing unless OH SHIT DAMN IT WHO FORGOT TO GET FUCKING COFFEE."

"Why didn't Hitler ever order a french dip? Because he hates au jus."

"Dear Grocery Bagger, Please don't put dryer sheets and bread in the same bag. My kids don't like peanut butter & Spring Meadow sandwiches."

"[turns to guy at next urinal] ""When the Little Mermaid became human how did she know how to use a toilet? BIG-TIME plot hole in my opinion"""

"Silly Boy Boy: where are you going now? Girl: For suicide.. Boy: Then, why so much make-up? Girl: You idiot.... Tomorrow my photo will come in Newspaper..!!"

"Why did the Chinese man tell a joke? Just China be funny."

"They should make an alarm clock that plays the sound of my dog about to throw up."

"What do you call a little pepper in Spanish? A jalapequeno"

"How do People in New Orleans have their beer? Watered Down"