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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a performance by a female pornstar and an act by an escape artist? One is a cunning stunt, the other has a stunning cunt."

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"What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee chord? My ass."
"Obesity cures wrinkles."
"You're going to look great at your prom. If you're thin and spent 3 grand on a dress. Otherwise you'll look like a dumpy Russian hooker."
"How's havin' a dick? It comes in handy."
"There are no black ninjas.. Only Incognegroes."
"In a recent court case, the defendant was charged with smuggling bombs inside of living cows... ...Upon hearing this, one of the jurors cried out, ""Abominable!"" (A bomb in a bull)"
"English is not my first language but I think my boss appreciates me He always says I am this functional!"
"Why do white people own so many pets? Because we're not allowed to own people anymore."
"WAITER: can i take your order? HER: *looks at lobster tank* i'll take that one ME: *looks out window* i'll take that pigeon"
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