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Joke of the Day
"They should make an alarm clock that plays the sound of my dog about to throw up."
Next Joke
"If you ever see me on my death bed, please take me off my death bed & move me to my alive bed thx"
"If you're walking on sunshine, please adjust your dosage accordingly."
"This blonde is so stupid she called me to get my telephone number!"
"I just spent $100 at Whole Foods. This better be a damn good bag of Almonds."
"Did you hear about the Mime Murders? It was an unspeakable horror"
"""I don't care how goodlooking you are if you don't have any brains."" -Zombies"
"What do you call a German who doesn't eat meat? A Veget-Aryan"
"Dentist Lion"
"Real girls have curves. A real girl is just one long, continuous curve. Do not date girl unless she is a parabola."