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Joke of the Day
"The Pope is resigning. He will soon be known as Ex-Benedict."
Next Joke
"Wife: you're drunk Me: no'm not Wife: I'M JUST A POOR BOY NOBODY LOVES ME Me: HE JURSTA PRO BROY FUMMA FLOOR FLAMLEE Wife: Me: ok lil bit"
"What do you call an snobbish Mongolian ruler going down the stairs? A condescending Khan descending."
"He who fights with lobsters must take care not to become a lobster. For when you gaze long into the bisque, the bisque also gazes into you."
"What is the punishment for bigamy? Two wives."
"Whiteboards are remarkable"
"I started a business selling landmines that resemble prayer mats. Prophets are through the roof."
"Cop:Do you know why I pulled you over Miss? Me:[takes a quick suck off helium balloon] No officer why? Cop:Lol, nevermind"
"What do you call a Muslim who is notoriously late for everything? 9/12"
"What do women and floor tiles have in common? If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years."