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Joke of the Day

"I would put a webcam in my shower to make extra money, but I would hate having to only sing public domain songs."

"Dr: I was going to ask if you were sexually active but- Me [wearing hot dog costume]: but what"

"I see your eyes lookin me up and down, baby. Mhmm. Huh? Toilet paper hangin out of my pants? Oh."

"Why did Moby Dick join a heavy metal band? He could really whale."

"Did some stand up at a bird sanctuary... They were eating out of the palm of my hands."

"How do you pick up a Muslim girl? Piece by piece"

"Donald trump wants to run for president, Why not? Wouldn't be the first time he's pushed a black family out of their home. (Snoop Dogg - /u/Here_Comes_The_King )"

"""Objection your honor, the defense is badg-"" BADGERING THE WITNESS! JINX! You can't talk. *Judge gives a respectful nod* ""Case dismissed."""

"What's the oldest trick in the book? Trick #1, duh. It's at the beginning of the contents."

"British sense of humour"