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Joke of the Day

"Him:I'm not going to use this taxi company again. They nearly killed me this morning Me:don't be so hasty darling...give them another chance"

"That awkward moment when your in super deep thought. Then 3 minutes later you realize you are staring directly at someone."

"I told my dad that I was taking a C programming course. He offered to give me some pointers."

"My black girlfriend told me this on our first date. What do you call 200 black people in a barn? Antique farm equipment."

"What does an existentialist bully say? ""Quit being yourself, quit being yourself!"""

"Pick a woman with wits. Wits will never sag."

"I wasn't able to apply for a job in the Endoscopy unit... ... it was internal application only."

"What illness makes you sneeze on your laptop screen? A computer virus!"

"How many sea men can fit in a circle 2 rads"

"So a man had his eye lids burned off in a fire and the doctors used a new procedure to replace them with his foreskin He came out just fine besides being a little cockeyed."