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Joke of the Day

"What is the body temperature of a Tauntaun? (Star Wars) Luke-warm."

"I'm a slow runner unless I think I left my phone unlocked in the next room, in which case I'm Usain Bolt."

"""Half a dozen"" because saying '6' is way too long... >_<"

"What do you call a Dinosaur serial killer? A terror-Dactyl"

"Q: Which is the most courteous State in the US? A: Conetiquette"

"If a cannibal ate a comedian, that would lead to some funny shit."

"What's red and has seven dents in it? Snow Whites cherry."

"Tell me your local jokes! Why does the Clyde run through Glasgow? Because if it walked, it'd get jumped!"

"I could never be a politician because every time it was my turn to talk in a debate, it would start off with ""Listen you f*cking prick."""

"Not to brag, but I just bought Eggland's best eggs from the grocery store. Their BEST eggs. I got them."