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Joke of the Day

"Tell me your local jokes! Why does the Clyde run through Glasgow? Because if it walked, it'd get jumped!"

"A man walks up to two nuns and reveals himself to them, one had a stroke... ... the other couldn't quite reach."

"What do you call a pony with a cough? A little hoarse!!!"

"How did Mario bring back his brother after he got a Game Over? He used a Luigi Board."

"Did you know that its illegal for someone living next to a cemetery to be buried there? that would be called murder."

"I woke up hungover to the sound of my neighbour mowing his lawn. He will just have to mow around me because I'm not moving.."

"Asked my friend what's he's going to wear for Halloween... ""Probably a condom."""

"They cut the hole in my Fallout disk to small. I can't fit my dick in it."

"Why did the farmer get nominated for an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. Why didn't the farmer make it to the award ceremony? Because he was out standing in his field."

"I'd rather see a guy with a machete walking towards me than someone with a clipboard."