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Joke of the Day
"If a cannibal ate a comedian, that would lead to some funny shit."
Next Joke
"I've always had an over-active imagination. Like that time I found myself drowning in an ocean of Tango it took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea."
"If Kristen Stewart played the daughter in Taken, Liam Neeson would probably just let the bad guys have her."
"When is being an ""Alpha"" not a good thing in the dating world? When you are a type of radiation. No one wants someone who can't penetrate well."
"5yo: I can't wear those socks today. They say Wednesday. Me: If anyone notices, tell them you're here from the future to save the world."
"All alcohol will make my clothes fall off... tequila just makes that happen in public."
"Did you here what the waiter did at the restaurant? He waited"
"Fire at will! Why does everyone hate Will? ^^courtesy ^^of ^^my ^^Uncle ^^Rick"
"For animals with an ""amazing sense of smell"" dogs sure do sniff piles of turds for a long time before realizing ""Whoops, these are turds"""
"Your mom... Your mother is so classless, she could be marxist utopia."