183066

Joke of the Day

"Perverts and dogwalkers are the only people who go through life excited for someone else to take a dump."

"Beautiful people are not always good, but good people are always beautiful."

"A horse walks into a bar The bartender asks ""Why the long face?"" The horse replies ""My alcoholism is tearing my family apart"""

"Conservatives keep telling me to find Jesus How am I supposed to find him if they want him sent back to mexico and want a wall to keep him out?"

"A physicist sees a man about to jump off the Empire State Building... He yells ""Don't do it! You have so much potential!"""

"Not impressed with the speed of the internet back in my day, I could open my bedroom window in the fall and get Chile."

"Hey girl, are you a washing machine? Coz you're making my pants wet!!!!"

"What's brown and hides in the attic? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank"

"The Chipotle I went to apologized for not having any lettuce today. I said ""It's cute that you think I'm here for that."""

"Where do modern-day pirates come from? Somaaaaaarlia"